I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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