The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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