can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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