my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
