We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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