making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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