I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
