i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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