Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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