PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
