Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
