I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
