dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I intend to get homeless drunk
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
