my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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