Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
