Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
