dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he thought i was a dude.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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