She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
then he tried to convert me to islam
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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