her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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