I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
