I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize