Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
