Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
