Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i dont even know how to be here
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
