A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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