mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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