he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
