i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
