and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
