i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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