you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
