i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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