apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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