you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize