I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
