just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
