You can't motorboat a personality
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize