she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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