Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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