maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
