i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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