i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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