Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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