We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
