just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
