there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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