The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
