What a fucking waste of an outfit
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
