so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
