i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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