Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize