I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
