Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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