When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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