the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
