"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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