Christians are straight up FREAKS
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
