I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
