Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
