Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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