This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
