The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
