found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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