Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
