When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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