He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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