Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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