Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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