Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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