i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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