I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
